33 and Just Getting Started
I think I was born a blogger and at 33 years of age am now officially ready to share my life and experience with the rest of the world. However, as I stare at the blank page on my screen which is to become my very first post, I wonder, ‘what will I write about?’
Since I can remember I have always been ‘imaginative’ and full of ideas and stories, however, translating them into words on paper..my downfall. Teachers would constantly tell me, “You have great thoughts but you don’t know how to write.” And I remember these thoughts as I currently type each word. Maybe I should rethink this?
But I also am not one to care about or follow the pathway that others have outlined for me. I have been called a ‘fighter’ and maybe ‘rebellious’ at times. I have always refused to go down the pathway that, to me, have no choices.
Let’s take the end of my junior year in highschool. The morning after my junior prom I had a grand mal seizure that resulted in me going into unconscious convulsions on the floor of my, then boyfriend’s, job. The hospital I was brought to tried to pin it on ‘drug and alcohol abuse’ and considering that I had never touched the stuff at that point in time I wasn’t about to let them nail me for that. After a few more seizures and being overdosed on numerous meds I was diagnosed w/ Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy and was told that I would be dependant on 1 little pill for the rest of my life and that I should reconsider my plans for my life and specifically for having children since the drug that I was doomed to was not safe for pregnancy.
Now some people would accept this and go along with what all the Dr’s were saying. My Mom took all of this very literally and I felt a wall go up around me as she planned my future in a small bubble with plans for me staying very close to her and my Dad. To this day I feel like she accepted this fate for me because ‘they said so’. However, I have always had a very hard time with people telling me what I can and can’t do and this was no exception. I truly feel this point in my life is where I started to evolve as some would say a ‘stubborn, opinionated and relentless wishful thinker’.
I went through the next 8 years doing research and learning as much as I could about my condition and how far I could really stretch myself without putting myself or anyone else into danger. And in the end, I took a chance and went out on limb and against all of those voices in my head. One marriage and 2 kids later I am glad that I never listened to everyone that said ‘you can’t or you shouldn’t’.
My outlook on life since this first battle always been ‘why not?’ and ‘who says I can’t?’
So, my first post is dedicated to my senior year English teacher who said I couldn’t write.
Thanks Ms. B for giving me another reason to prove that I can do something that I once thought I was never meant to do.